#it has been a journey. and it is now complete.

[power-handmaiden]

Chuck Tingle interview

OK, here is the FINAL 2024 Tingles My Butt post, which I've been pretty hyped for. I still kind of can't believe this. While I was figuring out how I'd move on from 2024, @drchucktingle generously offered to answer some questions of mine to commemorate the end of my tingler project! Here they are!

-Considering that your process for tinglers is just to write it out and not stress about proofreading and editing, was it weird for you to see someone decide to go back, examine, and contemplate every single tingler published in the past decade?

the whole dang project was really wonderful for me, for exactly the reason you have just said. tinglers are very STREAM OF CONSCIOUS and only edited with one quick pass so while i think this adds to their honesty and rawness it also means that my time with them is limited. really watching someone go back through them at this depth was like reading a diary that i have not opened for many years, and it jumps around through time in a very beautiful way. it was very moving

-I love tingler character names. I personally admire how many great ones you come up with. (I never know what to name my ttrpg characters.) You just come up with all these great names that seemingly spring from nowhere, how do you do it?

DANG great question cant believe i have not been asked this before but yes there is a type of name that shows up in the tingleverse that is unusual and has a certain feeling and cadence that is very specific. if i am trotting along with sweet barbara and there is a name of a product or a place or something that has this tone we will say ‘oh thats a tingleverse name.’ the reason i wanted to do this in the books was as a very subtle way of saying these stories exist on a timeline that is RIGHT next to ours, so in some ways it is exactly the same as our world but there are these little cultural differences with things like chocolate milk and spaghetti and then with the names. you will have buckaroos like justin and sarah trotting along next to buckaroos named corb torbins-quill or borto lart.

-So, as a reader, reading from 2014 to now, old tinglers and new tinglers feel different to me. I believe you when you say tinglers have always been sincere, but they feel MORE sincere than they used to be. Like, I feel like there was some self-consciousness and irony in some of the early tinglers that you've since let go of and embraced the Chuck Tingle voice more. I don't know, am I imagining this, or does this square with your tingler writing journey? If it does, what has that process been like for you?

i think you are absolutely correct. the intention with tinglers was always to be a place for me to express myself with complete sincerity, but the practical way of HOW to trot like this took a bit of an evolution to arrive at. in other words i knew the basics, but actually refining the best way to express yourself and perform your art takes time. maybe in the same way goin back and watching season one of a tv show can feel very different from season three, even though they are part of the same expression. 

similar thing happened with in my chuck PRESENTATION as well, where my main focus was to stay anonymous so the metaphors i used to talk about my life were still true but laid on much thicker. even my attire was a large gi so that you would not even be able to see my shape, which has obviously changed now because i wear suits these days. all of this was a process of starting in a place i knew was important to me and then peeling off the parts that were not helping the message or expression over time

-Is there anything you could tell us about the significance of Borson Reems? I feel like he's more than just another Buck Trungle/Chuck Tangle/etc but I'm not sure what exactly...

yes borson reems is god. not that i believe in GOD in the way that most buckaroos talk about god (i am agnostic) but within the tingleverse, borson reems is an avatar for the creator of that world. technically i am borson reems, because i am writing the books. the question is: are we all the gods of our own little worlds that we create? i do not know, but when i look around at my buds and the joy and love they bring to various timelines they sure seem like gods to me

-A lot of no-sex tinglers (especially ones that aren't romance-focused) vary in terms of plot and structure a lot more than erotic tinglers. Is your writing process for these stories any different?

same process actually, but the sex scenes in tinglers are about 1500 to 2000 words long, and total tingler length is 4000 words which means if you are not including that portion you are going to have to come up with some creative way to fill that space in the story and a new axis for story to turn on. so the variety comes from me getting creative and trying out different axis points

-In "Not Pounded By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Non-Fungible Tingler That Is Literally This NFT" Because Of The Current Catastrophic Environmental And Ethical Impact" there are references to an earlier draft of the story that was never released because you ended up disagreeing with the message. Are there any other tinglers that never got finished and/or published, if you'd be willing to talk about any of them?

oh this is a VERY good question. the story of the NFT tingler is that when buckaroos were first talkin on nfts online and nobody really knew what they were, my first thoughts were just ‘oh this is interesting what the heck is this?’ this is my way with most CURRENT EVENTS. and i thought ‘this would be an interesting tingler, i suppose maybe i should make the tingler an ACTUAL nft’. this was in VERY early days so i did not really even understand what an nft was (neither did 99 percent of buckaroos yet honestly). so i looked into it just enough to actually MAKE a nft tingler that was a real nft and put it out. lasted for about thirty seconds before buckaroos were messaging saying ‘oh this is bad chuck you should look into what this is’ and i DID look into it and thought’ oh yeah this is terrible nevermind’. i took down the original and thought ‘well THIS is what art is all about. this is where i thrive in a world of moving living art that is in communication with itself’. so i dove into the research and actually started to understand NFTS and then i repurposed the story into a strongly anti-nft tingler and put that on out instead.

as far as OTHER tinglers that kind of move and breathe and live like this, in communication with the audience, GAY T-REX LAW FIRM is another very good example. that one i wrote early on and i think it was kind of in the model of something like fifty shade of grey, where issues of kink and consent and communication are not really handled well. i think at the time it came out the story was okay, but as time went on it always kind of bothered me and finally i thought ‘i love art that exists in the REAL WORLD and changes and evolves, so lets rewrite that story and fix some of these mistakes.’ honestly it is something i wish more artists would be open to. its okay to let something hold strong against a changing timeline, but it is also okay to explore what its like to take the notes that time gives us

-This one is about Chuck Tingle that exists in deeper layers of the Tingleverse that operate on tingler logic: what does the location inside his/your butt look like?

probably a nice mid-century modern home up in laurel canyon neighborhood of los angeles. kind of quiet and small like a cabin but also very cozy, like the kind of place where you would put on a crosby stills nash and young record on vinyl and gaze out into the woods for a while then walk down the hill for dinner at a little cafe where you spot some actor from a 60s tv show also having dinner in the corner booth. this basically sounds like the start of a tingler and in that tingler i will say the actor would be a bigfoot.

-OK this one is very self-indulgent but if you could help settle this frequent point of discussion I have with my wife- where do the following fit in the Tingleverse bigfoot/dinosaur/unicorn/living object(/human/does not apply?) taxonomy?

-a ghost of a regular human

-a regular human vampire

-a human/fish mermaid

-a sentient winged horse

-a sentient centipede large enough to wrap around a mountain several times (she is handsome)

alright lets trot through these. a GHOST is not one of the four tingle types so you can have a ghost racecar or a ghost unicorn or a ghost bigfoot. ghosts are outside of the four types and do not have a classification

a VAMPIRE is also outside of the four types. so you can have a vampire bigfoot or, of course, a vampire night bus. does not strictly fall into any of the four main categories

MERMAIDS are technically a long lost species of unicorn I DONT MAKE THE RULES I JUST EXPLAIN THEM. this makes the MERMOPED tingler a little confusing but i had to pick a category and that one went into living object. now that i mention it possibly the only tingler that is technically a double category of unicorn/living object.

WINGED HORSE is easy, thats a pegasus which is a species of unicorn just like a mermaid

a SENTIENT CENTIPEDE LARGE ENOUGH TO WRAP AROUND A MOUNTAIN is an ancient creature, therefore dinosaur tingler

-My other self-indulgent question: do you have a favorite bug? (Or second-favorite if you count Mothman as a bug)

i love finding spiders in the house and giving them a pet because they are doing a good job livin their lives doin their thing. close second would be a pretty ladybug

-Any thoughts on what tinglers will be like in 2025? Do you expect to be writing a lot of political tinglers again, like post-2016?

honestly i really do not like writing specifically political tinglers anymore, and the amount that i write has gradually dropped over time (i think ALL tinglers are political but in a different way). so honestly i think i will write a few political tinglers but not many. my hypothesis on this is that my HORROR NOVELS are very very political and so maybe i get a lot of these ideas out of my system that way now. when it comes to tinglers i just wanna explore my OWN mind and heart and butt more

THANK YOU for these wonderful questions and thank you for your tingler-a-day project it was so moving and powerful. what a treat it was an honor to be a part of something so beautiful. THIS PROVES LOVE IS REAL

[ghostlyferrettarot]

🌺Pick a Picture:🪼🪸Your next glow up🪸🪼

•Pile 1 •Pile 2 •Pile 3

❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️

✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) Open!

⭐️If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!⭐️

💕Masterlist💕

🪷Pile 1:

Your glow up is completely in tune with a rebirth in yourself, i feel like you will be awakening to a new version of yourself. What you have been doing to take care of your body, whether it is improving your physical health, your diet, or simply dedicating yourself, is paying off and transforming you in amazing ways. This is a time when you are not only beginning to feel stronger and more energized, but your physical presence is also beginning to radiate a confidence and vitality that you have not experienced before. You are learning to love yourself in a deeper way, and through this process of acceptance, you are beginning to glow from the inside out. As you move forward, you will realize that your self-esteem is growing, and this transformation is not only external, but you are also feeling a much deeper connection with your body and what makes you feel good. You have learned not to let insecurities or obstacles hold you back, but now you face challenges with a positive approach. As you continue to cultivate this discipline and self-care, there is no doubt that your image and energy will continue to evolve beautifully.

🪷Advice: Keep investing time in your physical and mental self-care. Stay consistent, as the process you are experiencing will not only bring you visible results, but will strengthen your overall well-being.

🐬Pile 2:

Your glow up is a deep internal transformation. You may be going through a healing journey, understanding your emotions in a way you had not done before. During this time, you may have had to face some of your deepest fears, those parts of yourself that you may have avoided. However, what once seemed scary is now becoming a source of personal power. You are learning to understand yourself better, to accept the parts of yourself that previously caused you conflict, and in the process, you are healing emotional wounds that had remained hidden. A large part of this emotional glow-up has to do with finding inner balance. You are learning to recognize the importance of inner peace and how your emotions are not only part of you, but are valuable tools for your growth. There is a harmony that you are seeking and slowly achieving, learning to combine your feelings with your thoughts and actions in a more fluid way. On this path of self-knowledge, you are learning to enjoy solitude, not as a void, but as a space to reconnect with yourself. Temporary retreat or moments of introspection are being fundamental to your emotional evolution, allowing you to see life from a wiser and more mature perspective. Every time you allow yourself to process your emotions and reflect in silence, you are gaining clarity and strength. You are letting go of old emotional burdens and opening yourself up to new ways of feeling and living.

🐬Advice: Don't rush your emotional process. The key is patience, allowing yourself to feel and heal at your own pace. Self-understanding and emotional self-care will continue to open doors to a stronger, more serene version of yourself.

🐠Pile 3:

Your glow up leads you to great potential and manifestation energy. You are at a key moment in your career, or in your projects, in which everything seems to align for you. You have been working on your skills, your knowledge, and your confidence, and now is when you begin to see that the opportunities you had dreamed or imagined are finally materializing. This glow up is not only about a breakthrough in what you do, but a change in how you see yourself as a professional. This transformation process is also involving creative abundance. You are at a stage in which your ideas and projects have the potential to flourish. You have begun to nurture and care for your professional goals in a way that makes them grow stronger. It's not just a matter of getting things done, but of doing it with passion, vision and purpose. And as you continue to grow your projects, your work environment could also be evolving, providing you with more opportunities or support. Perhaps you are considering whether to continue on the path you have been taking or if it is time for a radical change. This is the perfect time to act decisively and clearly, as your intuition and skills are aligned to help you make the right choices.

🐠Advice: Do not underestimate your power of creation. You have all the tools necessary to transform your dreams into reality, it is just a matter of trusting in your ability and acting with confidence.

💕💖Thank you for reading and tell me if it resonated 💖💕

[mylittlefina]

Thank you for tolerating me at my worst....

We all have our stories and trauma we drag with us. My goal was to show my healing journey and the positive sides of being a "little"

I've been through some insane events this last year, to the point of psychosis.

Luckily, i had this community to help me through it.

Thank you all so much. I can't express how your words and intentions helped me when I felt completely alone and lost within my own mind and body.

I couldn't tell what was real and I felt like the walls around me were closing in and I was the literal joke of the world. It broke me in ways I may never fully recover from.

I'm more than grateful, and I'll share my life with you all to the best of my abilities.

I'm going to embrace my little side more now than ever before without losing my independence. Life is messy, and being innocence brings me an inner peace that nothing can compete with.

I've spoken with so many of you, and i lose track of who I'm messaging, so please don't take it personally. Tumblr has a terrible setup if you have more than 99 messages. It's both a blessing and a curse. Im only one person after all... and I dont like the idea of liking one human over another. Mainly because how I was neglected as a child. I just want things to be as fair as possible.

I care about knowing who I'm messaging so be patient with me. I've met many followers and I like to give everyone a chance, no matter your imperfections or insecurities .. trust me. I'm full of them too. Just know I'm literally not for everyone and that something that kills me sometimes but its life. We all want what we cannot have.

I just wanted to share my thoughts..

I'm not trying to be super serious, but its good to ground ourselves in reality once in a while.

I wish you all the best year yet, I bless your path and all those you care about.

Let's teach people how to be human again. You're literally eternal souls having this temporary experience, so make the most of it ❤️

Blessings to thee for Blessings Are Free 😘💖

Little Fina/Mylee K

[slaaverin]

I'm in my bed crying over jikook again.

The thing is, I don't even have the proper words to express what I'm feeling.

It's all so..God I don't know. Improbable? Crazy? It's crazy.

You have two humans that have the most pure souls, with impossible high-stakes lives, that somehow found each other and also found the most beautiful love I have ever witnessed in my 32 years of life.

The probability of this happening is almost zero. It shows there are really bigger and smarter things than little us at play in life.

They went through so much, and so much more than any of us will ever be able to imagine, yet they remained pure at heart, with their love growing ever stronger and more potent by the day.

They let us in on everything, and showed us the true depth of their feelings openly (but even so, it's written all over their faces).

They simply care, a lot. The little things, the trips, the quiet moments, all of it, they really do care. It's not for show. It's real.

It's like we're getting a glimpse of something that doesn't belong to us at all. Yet, they are generous enough to let us experience it vicariously through them. Isn't it an act of love on their part? They don't have to do it. It's not even smart or safe or reasonable for them to do it. But they do anyway. Maybe because they wouldn't be able to help it, even if they wanted to?

How weird it is that our love for them is that strong? We've never even met them. Yet we feel for them something more unconditional than what we feel for some people we've actually met. How strange, don't you think? So we cheer on and support and we feel it all. We care too.

And I can't explain how witnessing jikook's love has been wonderful, how it has filled my heart with an immense amount of joy and reverence and beauty. It is a mystery.

Somehow I feel it's not even about them, even if it is, obviously so. It's simply that love. Isn't something most of us miss? Long, crave for? Wish for everybody.

If all the people would be in love like Jimin & Jungkook are, there would be no wars in the world anymore. It would be completely different.

The lack of love produces incredible darkness, and it's only love that can fix everything.

So I think that's why I cherish their love so much. It is so very precious, so very important, in ways they might not even understand. The fact they have such an audience being exposed to their love, feeling all the feelings, it helps the world heal a tiny little.

It's not a small thing. It matters.

If we can all fill our little corner of the universe with that type of love, we would've won all the battles, done what we came here for, and call it a day.

They've gifted us the incredible gift of are you sure, where their love was quiet and peaceful and certain. They've given us the gcf. And Letter. And then there was Rosebowl, and MMA, and Black Swan. A thousand moments. Again and again they've showed us.

Now they are enlisted together, and I think that there's nothing more to add. Nothing to prove. Nothing to show. It is self-evident and we can only smile and be happy for them.

What an incredible journey it has been, full of laughs, of crying. So many tears (of joy).

When they will come out of military, we can say that a chapter of their life will close, and another one will open. Hopefully a even happier one than the one before.

So yeah I've decided to make a rather big edit about it, this first chapter, those 10 years of love.

(And you're not ready with some of the music I chose, it makes you feel ALL THE THINGS, prepare tissues)

Sorry for this post that is going nowhere.

Sometimes I simply need to scream my love for jikook. They truly deserve it.

Aren't they wonderful? Yes. Yes.

Take care lovely jikookers 💜

[poeticblissme]

I will be as honest as possible when I answer this because I truly know and understand your struggle, and I want to be as transparent with my thoughts and feelings on this to properly try my best to help you see a different perspective so bare with me it may be a bit wordy.

I have spent a good amount of my life wishing I could do things in the entertainment industry. I have memorized countless movies since I was 8, even before that really. My whole heart is into doing things like acting, it’s been a Dream of mine to be on movies and stages. However, it has been countless dead ends for me. I would fall off because I felt like it was never going anywhere, that and I am constantly stuck doing jobs and things I absolutely detest, knowing where my heart is at. But I also felt unworthy, I felt like there are others who are clearly better than me, that I had no real space to even try it because of everything else never worked out for me? Why would something I actually enjoy and want to do for the rest of my life work out.

Over the years, I feel into deep stages of sadness and bitterness because I saw others succeed, I have seen people who have done less receive more and I had a fear that if I try, it was just bound to fail. My family have talents, and the one I love I don’t even feel I’m fully good at because I’ve seen how others do so much better. I can’t do much, I don’t and can’t do what I see everyone else can. I looked at myself as ordinary and unimportant. So I stopped trying. I stopped looking. I wanted to give up entirely because feeling empty was better than facing this crippling mindset that made it hard to breathe.

However, around 2020, when the pandemic came around, I got more into spirituality. And through those months of me finding myself again, I started taken small intricate steps to try and change this mindset. It was so hard, the amount of self accountability I had to learn for what I love and what I let my mind control in terms of outward action was difficult, but I can tell you what I have learned and I hope this gives you a piece of hope or motivation to take these steps even with your fear.

As a human being, it is natural to be afraid to do something you feel in your heart is good for you. Be it a passion, a relationship, or anything that forces you to step out of your comfort zone to do something you never imaged for yourself before. You will not know what you are doing sometimes but that is apart of the journey, you don’t know what your doing until you have done it enough times that you finally do know what to do and integrate that into your life slowly but surely. The point is to put in the effort anyway because you have that feeling that it is something that will make you happy. Trying is the reassurance to your soul.

The feeling of being stuck is your survival and comfort mindset trying to keep you where you think you are safe. If this is something you feel you want to pursue, then you have to force yourself to propel yourself forward, you have to work with that fear, make mistakes, ask the questions, do the research, experience the experience of the unknown fully, otherwise you will live with the regret of what could have been.

I have done so much since I started this little journey of mine. I have done things I never imaged myself doing, and now I am in a place where I do still yearn for more, but I am also in a state of gratitude because I have gone so much father than I thought I would when I had stopped trying completely. I am not fully in the place I want to be, but the places I have been are motivation for me to keep trying because I know that it is indeed possible somehow someway. The things I didn’t know, now I do. The things I still don’t know scare me, but I am doing my best to open to the unknown and let it make me better and stronger so that when (Yes not if, when) the next pieces of my dream come to me, I will be even more ready than I was the day before.

All of this to say, Please. Please chase that dream of publishing your book. Even if you feel afraid, take your hand and slowly guide your feet toward the shore line. Dip your toes in slowly and learn how the water feels, step on a shell every now and again, take the pain and confusion and learn from it so when you step on it again it does not hurt as much, and then you will learn how to avoid the shell completely. Before you know it, you will have completely submerged yourself in the waters you were afraid to go into, and your life will fill that much more full because you took those steps you were once afraid to take. 🤍🖤

I’m gonna confess something here, gonna get real raw with it.

But I think, no I know, I am terrified of trying.

I so desperately want to publish a novel, multiple even. I have them in the bag. But I am so scared of moving forward even an inch.

I have been writing since I was ten, I have been doing these monster stories since 2017.

And I have gone nowhere.

I am so frightened of the next steps. I believe if I don’t know what I’m doing I can’t do anything.

I’ve been working this out in therapy but like…I do feel stuck. I’ve imbedded myself so much here and in comfort I don’t know what to do.

What do I do? How do I publish? Who do I ask?

Is it me? Do I have to do this now?

I wanted to say this, in hopes putting it out there I can pull myself out of the complacent pit I’ve made and move along. But yeah, I’m terrified and I really have no clue what to do. Everyone else who is publishing seems so far ahead and they know everything. But, maybe that’s also an excuse for myself I need to face.

[mpregtales]

Ernesto

9 months pregnant, 31 years old, from San Antonio, expecting his first babies, triplet boys

Ernesto had always been a head-turner. His charming smile, confident stride, and naturally curvaceous physique ensured he never lacked attention. His toned body, coupled with a naturally big, bouncy butt, had men vying for his attention throughout his 20s. Ernesto relished the spotlight, enjoying carefree days filled with flirty encounters and casual hookups. His high sex drive matched his alluring physique, fueled by an insatiable primal desire to surrender himself to the indulgences of the flesh. He could never quite figure out why he was built this way, but it didn't matter. Life for Ernesto was a whirlwind of passion and pleasure, a thrilling dance of desire where he embraced his cravings and found joy in the company of confident, captivating men who knew exactly how to fulfill him. Everything changed when he met Jordan.

Jordan was unlike anyone Ernesto had ever encountered. Drop-dead gorgeous, confident, and determined, Jordan was a man who knew what he wanted. From the moment their eyes met, a fire was lit within Ernesto—a spark he couldn’t ignore. There was something magnetic about Jordan, something that awakened a deep, undeniable yearning in Ernesto, a connection unlike any he had ever felt. Ernesto initially brushed off Jordan’s advances, treating him like just another admirer, but Jordan’s persistence and unwavering allure broke through Ernesto’s defenses.

Jordan, too, was captivated, drawn not just to Ernesto’s striking physique but to the undeniable energy and allure he exuded. It was as though Jordan instinctively knew what Ernesto’s body and spirit longed for, and the connection between them burned with a passion neither could deny. What began as a casual hookup quickly blossomed into something much deeper. Ernesto gave himself to Jordan completely, discovering a love he hadn’t known he was searching for.

It wasn’t long before their passion took on a life of its own—literally. Ernesto had always been careful during his escapades bottoming for men, but something about being with Jordan felt different  A few months into their relationship, Ernesto’s primal longing reached its peak during a night of unrestrained intimacy—a deep, unrelenting desire to give himself fully to Jordan. To be bred by him. 

Jordan, captivated by Ernesto’s beauty, his intoxicating curves, and the magnetic energy that seemed to emanate from him, couldn’t resist the moment. With his 10 inch manhood, Jordan dominated Ernesto’s huge bubble butt and filled him with his seed. It came as no surprise to Ernesto when he discovered he was pregnant later on, but he was shocked when he learned that he was carrying triplets. Although, the fact he was so fertile shouldn’t have been so surprising to him given his build.

Over the next few months, Ernesto settled into his child-bearing journey with ease. Pregnancy came naturally to him, watching his belly grow and glutes thicken with each passing week. Ernesto was fulfilled more than he could have ever imagined carrying Jordan’s boys, and as his body grew, so too did his love for Jordan. 

Now, at nine months pregnant and overdue with three big boys, Ernesto’s curvy body has transformed into a vision of fertility and a vessel for creation and desire. His belly is massive, round, and firm, stretching far in front of him as a testament to the life growing inside. He finds himself constantly rubbing it, feeling his sons kick and roll as they prepare to be born. Ernesto’s bubble butt has grown into a mountainous, plump, child-bearing masterpiece that bounces with every step and stretches his clothes to their limits. Most men would feel insecure about being this size, but Ernesto feels his most attractive ever, and Jordan agrees wholeheartedly.

Their intimacy has only deepened during the course of Ernesto’s pregnancy. The surging hormones in these final months have only heightened Ernesto’s already sex drive. As soon as Jordan walks through the door after work, Ernesto wastes no time ripping off his clothes and climbing on all fours, arching out his massive cheeks begging to be fucked. Jordan, ever attentive, is always more than happy to oblige, relishing the opportunity to feel his boyfriend's pregnancy-thickened bubble but clap against his crotch.

As Ernesto nears the end of his pregnancy, he feels the telltale signs that the time is near. His belly has dropped significantly, and the growing pressure in his pelvis signals his twin boys are settling lower. He feels a tingling sensation in his cheeks, knowing that he will soon be back on all fours again pushing out his sons the same way they were conceived. As he prepares to give birth, Ernesto embraces every sensation, realizing he was made for this.

Luckily, Jordan has plans to put that ripe, fertile, mountainous bubble butt to use and get Ernesto pregnant again after he gives birth. Ernesto doesn't protest the idea. Something about this journey—about carrying Jordan’s children—feels like destiny. As Ernesto rubs his belly one last time before, he knows he’s found his purpose. 

From the Paternity Studios Collection.

[nicoleshifting]

how to center shifting in your life (without it completely consuming it)

something I have struggled with personally since discovering shifting and implementing it into my life has been finding a proper balance between it and my life in my cr. especially in the early days of me getting into shifting, I found that shifting consumed my every thought, and my life in my cr fell to the back burner. i was in college in a major that was constantly disappointing me, a pandemic was happening, and I was wildly depressed and desperate to leave this reality.

however, putting my life in my cr to the side in favor of focusing on shifting and my dr did me no favors. i put too much pressure on every shifting attempt while simultaneously putting in very little effort into shifting, despite it being the primary thing on my mind every single day.

it has now been four years and three months since I actively began my shifting journey (I believe I found out about shifting around june 2020 and finally started trying to shift in october of the same year). at this point in time, january 2025, I feel the best I ever have about my life and shifting since I have been on this journey, and feel I am finally finding a good balance between the two.

one of my goals for 2025 is to center shifting in my life more. what does this mean, though? upon reflecting on my shifting journey, I have come to the realization that despite shifting being something I have very desperately wanted to do since day one, I have been resisting it this whole time. subconsciously, I have resisted shifting nonstop nearly my entire shifting journey. why? well, that will require more self reflection at another time, but the realization has been made. why has something that means so much to me, something that I find so magical and yet helps me make sense of the world at its' very core, why have I been neglecting it? anytime I have found myself making progress with shifting, I will simply walk away for months at a time, only half heartedly trying to shift out of sheer desperation to not be myself in this reality. this is something I will be changing this year.

so how exactly do i plan on centering shifting in my life without it overwhelming my thoughts and resulting in me neglecting myself and life in my cr? i have a few ways I plan on doing this.

i am keeping a journal with entries written every day about how I am furthering my shifting journey. now, this doesn't mean I am forcing myself to shift every single day, and if I need a break from shifting, I have no problem stepping away from this. however, I feel my inconsistency with shifting since the beginning has significantly stunted my journey and if I had done something like this at the beginning, I feel I would have fully shifted by now (to one of my drs, specifically). this is mostly to keep myself accountable and also track my progress.

if I have planned since I woke up that I would like to shift that day, and I finally have the opportunity to do so, I am going to shift. wayyyyy too often have I woken up, planned what I want to do that day, and when I am finally home from work, ready to lay down and shift, I find myself going hmmmm maybe in a little, let me get some chores done first. and then it's dinnertime. and then I'm too tired to do anything. what is going on??? this is a prime example of me resisting shifting. what am I afraid of? succeeding? maybe.

put more of a focus on using law of assumption/manifesting with shifting, and my life in general. i have been reading the power of awareness by neville goddard and annotating quotes and passages that I find most helpful when it comes to shifting specifically. using this very basic information that is for manifesting and applying it to shifting (which, as we know, is manifesting) I will stop myself from overcomplicating and overthinking shifting.

lastly, when I am at work, or hanging out with friends, or simply doing something that is me living my life in my cr, shifting is not on my mind. i am grateful to finally have a job that keeps me busy and I enjoy doing, so I don't find myself daydreaming about my drs and my lives in other realities. being more present in the moment and finding joy in my cr is a way I plan to keep myself grounded and invested in my cr life while also centering shifting.

i think that's all for now! i may make another post about this if I think of more things to add :)

[fandom-chameleon23]

The Scouring of the Shire

My single biggest disappointment with the PJ movies is that this chapter, which is arguably the most important to understanding the whole trilogy, was completely cut out. You cannot understand a book without contrasting the beginning and the end, and leaving this out of the end changes the whole meaning and tone. The Scouring of the Shire lets us see exactly where our four main characters end up and how their journey changed them.

Merry and Pippin come back as Lords, accepted and revered and praised. They look big and impressive. They are in command, confident, and easily take charge in a crisis situation. Pippin is still not even of age if I’m not mistaken, but people trust him. They are brave and skilled.

Sam is admired and respected as well. He has gained confidence and he speaks out particularly against the hobbits who have joined Saruman, whether out of fear or greed. He is granted his greatest wish, which is to look after his Gaffer, and Rosie, and Rosie’s family. He is very much a protector, and not necessarily a leader, but he’s far from a lowly gardener.

Frodo, Frodo! Frodo is quiet, grieved, merciful, and wise. He is the undisputed leader of the four, and they listen to him. He refuses to carry a sword, or participate in any violence. He lets both Saruman and Wormtongue go, which makes the rest of the hobbits very angry. I love this quote:

Saruman rose to his feet, and stared at Frodo. There was a strange look in his eyes of mingled wander and respect and hatred. “You have grown, halfling,” he said. “Yes, you have grown very much. You are wise, and cruel. You have robbed my revenge of sweetness, and now I must go hence in bitterness in debt to your mercy. I hate it and you! 

I believe that Frodo has grown in this way, uniquely to the others, because he gave in to the Ring in the end. It was after months of torment and in starvation and exhaustion, in the dark heart of Mordor, but he gave in. And I think that gives him this beautiful gift of empathy for all who have been touched by evil, even those who were seemingly willingly and gladly corrupted.

It is not strength that overcomes darkness, but light. Frodo will not let anger or vengeance darken his heart or those of his fellow hobbits. Tolkien told a story about the cost of war, and the way we all must fight against the darkness in our hearts just as much as we fight against the darkness Out There in the world.

[she-whatshername]

So, your Tyrrish men headcanons are life. I adore every last one of them even when they make my heart hurt.

Not that any of them have time now, but someday when the war has ended and they all obviously live HEA, what kind of hobbies would they be into?

Apologies if this has already been asked. If it has I missed it.

Oh, excellent ask. And love the emphasis on LIVE. Because yes they do, all of them, lolol

Bodhi:

I shared this in an earlier post somewhere but I am fully convinced Xaden commissioned Bodhi to make the saddle for Violet. So, being that I feel that he’d be doing some type of metal work when he gets around to it

But, because he’s such a people person and people leader, I think post the war he’s doing a lot of leadership and helping to rebuild Aretia and the building up the Tyrrish crown. He does it so much its now his hobby haha

Also, while not a hobby persay, this man is getting busy post the war

Settling down

Having all the kids

And still being the best at balancing Xaden on the throne, leadership duties, and his family

This man can truly do all things

Garrick:

Horses

Lolol

IDK why but he gives ‘horse girl’ vibes.

I think he’d take up horse riding again and it become a joke that his ‘mares’ in his stable are actual horses in his stable. He’s of course at Xaden’s side post the war but when he isn’t he’s with the horses. Raising them, teaching others to ride, caretaking, etc

Also, runes. I think he’s also doing rune work in his spare time and teaching others. He’s always just crafting up something unique with runes to help others

And, like Bodhi, he’s spending a lot of time taking of and supporting others

I adore Garrick

Xaden

Violet

Lolol

Is that a hobby? Because that’s all I see him doing pos the war

But, in all seriousness, I think he’d be into swimming

Okay hear me out. I have nothing to back up this headcanon but, If we take into account what happened to him at the end of IF, I could maybe see him becoming paranoid about being out in nature alone wandering around, fearful he could lose himself and be tempted again (because I thought he’d be into hiking, climbing at first)

I could see a cute moment where Violet lures him into a pool of water and has him just float for a bit, completely weightless and unable to touch the ground that he actually loves it?

So to clear his head or release stress he just goes and does some laps and floats about

Imogen

She is on a journey of herself

Self care is her hobby post the war

She’s finding peace outside hiking, journaling, maybe even knitting

I know, everyone would be like “Imogen, you’re knitting a scarf?! That’s so cute.” And then she’d just glare at them and tell them she could easily stab them with the needles

But honestly they’d be some of the warmest scarfs, hats, blankets, etc

Knitting reminds her of her life before the apostasy. Her mother and sister would knit and Imogen would hate the idea of just, sitting there for days, but now she sits on her bed, knitting quietly while putting together a beautiful quilt while putting herself back together in the process

[tuesdaykiss]

“touching toes”

rafe cameron social media au

“he’s over more and more, had to give him a whole drawer. to be honest, kinda like seeing his trainers by the door.” — olivia dean, ‘touching toes’.

synopsis: after finishing her fashion studies at college in nyc, y/n moves to outerbanks to live with her grandparents. she worries about the loneliness that comes with being in a new place, knowing only her cousin topper and other relatives… that is until she is acquainted with a certain cameron.

part - 21 | 22 | 23

masterlist

the next day, the three of you set off home. the journey back to outerbanks a quiet blur, as you basked in the tranquility that your company brought.

when you arrived, the sun was setting over the marsh, casting golden hues over the water, as you huddled in the back of the car — rafe’s hand planted on your thigh. your life suddenly a complete juxtaposition to your days in la — media frenzies, the fashion show, and the unexpected ease that came with spending a night in rafe’s arms. outerbanks was still the same calming home it had grown to be; your time away a distant whirlwind. it felt good to be back.

pulling you from your thoughts, rafe squeezed your knee, “you’re quiet,” he said, concern etched on his face.

“just thinking,” you smiled, resting your head on his shoulder as you stared out of the window mindlessly, “this all feels quite real now…”

worry invaded your body, as you couldn’t ignore the weight of what was to come: navigating the reactions of the island, to yours and rafe’s relationship.

“it is real,” rafe said firmly, “but you’re not alone, y/n.”

you gave him a small, grateful smile, but your stomach twisted slightly as the familiar sight of your grandparents’ home came into view. it wasn’t their react that was truly worrying you, though.

yourusername

liked by sarahcameron, rafecam and 5,273 others

yourusername don’t worry internet, the cameron siblings are home safely @/sarahcameron @/rafecam

view comments

kiaracarrera missed you and sarah so bad

itscleo lit having withdrawals

johnbr i’ll be stealing sarah now, thank you

rafecam great trip 😉

user i should’ve been there

ilovesarah yk what she’s funny, i like her

user2 fr if not me with rafe, i’m happy it’s her

sarahfan101 pls can you just tell us!

your grandmother was in the kitchen, humming softly as she stirred something on the stove, the familiar scent of her cooking filling the house. your grandfather resides in his usual armchair in the living room, reclined with a newspaper on his lap as he attempted to complete the crosswords.

“sweetheart, you’re home!” your grandmother exclaimed, turning with a warm smile as you walked in. her eyes shifted to rafe, as he stood behind you, her smile widening, “and rafe! it’s lovely to see you back here, again.”

she looked between the two of you, almost expectantly. you could feel the faint drumming of your heart in your chest as you exchanged a look with rafe, “nan, there’s something i — we gotta tell you.”

she clasped her hands together in delight before pulling you both into a hug, “i knew it, i knew it, i knew it, i knew it!” her eyes lit up as she smiled wider than you’d ever seen her before, “oh, bill! our baby has gotten herself a boyfriend!”

her excitement was uncontainable, you didn’t even get the chance to tell your grandfather… she’d done that for you.

your grandfather lowered his newspaper and raised an eyebrow as he looked at rafe, “boyfriend, huh?” he said gruffly, almost not warming to the idea of his beloved granddaughter flying from the nest, “you’ve got some explaining to do, kid.”

“pops!” you groaned, but rafe chuckled behind you.

“it’s okay,” rafe said to you, stepping forward to shake your grandfather’s hand.

pop’s kept a tight grip on rafe’s hand as he studied him, “alright cameron, let’s hear it. what makes you good enough for my granddaughter, eh?”

your cheeks flushed, but rafe didn’t miss a beat. “honestly, she’s too good for me,” he said with sincerity, “but i care an awful lot about her, and i’ll do whatever it takes to make her happy.”

your grandmother beamed, her excitement almost becoming too much, and your grandfather cracked a smile while rafe looked back to shoot you a wink. “alrighty then,” he spoke, gesturing to the couch, “shot the kettle on, mabel, we’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

johnbr

liked by jjmaybank, kiaracarrera and 27 others

johnbr sarah’s home! ❤️

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jjmaybank where’s my invite?!

itscleo you just gonna third wheel them?

jjmaybank i’m a key part of this relationship

heywardpope pogue meet up when?

kiaracarrera rn?

heywardpope @/jjmaybank @/itscleo @/sarahcameron @/johnbr @/yourusername you game?

your phone

you couldn’t tell the pogues… not yet. not over the phone. right now, your priority was telling your cousin, before he found out himself.

that’s why, later that evening, you found yourself in the passenger seat of rafe’s truck as you drive to the thornton residence. your nerves returned to you in full force, softened by the way rafe’s large palm clutched your thigh as his other effortlessly steered the vehicle.

a/n: i fear you can tell i’m british by the way i write the grandparents pls

anyways i was gonna include topper’s reaction here but i wouldn’t get it out in time.

taglist: @my-name-is-baby @yesshewrites1 @urbrunettebombshell @leather-n-velvet @fruitcakerafe @littlefreak-liz @wdwbts101 @akobx @lossfairy @marleymarleymarleymarley @jjmaybankmylovee @mbella607 @scream4mami @mrsdrewstarkeyy @honeyluvsatj @rafegetinmybed @hypnotizedstarkey

[haileycantcometothephonern]

Scars

Spencer x fem!reader

Prequel fic to this part (but can be read alone)

CW: pregnancy, kidnapping, torture, angst, also a little bit fluff. (not proofread)

___________________________________

18 months ago

You felt the kicks before you felt the warm sun rays waking you up from your deep sleep. Your baby has been quite excited, you can tell. She is keen to meet her mom and dad, it seems. You open your eyes slowly and crack a smile at your very pregnant belly.

Sydney. That's what you both decided her name would be. Such a pretty name really. You immediately got up to make yourself some breakfast as your daughter isn't so calm when she starts to get hungry.

You then remember the absence of your husband. You really hoped he would be here before next week, as that's when your due date was and your daughter might come out any moment now. You didn't want Spencer to miss such a pivotal moment of your child's birth. You knew how much he looked forward to it.

As you make yourself some breakfast filled with all kinds of nutrients, your mind goes through all of your pregnancy journey. Spencer and you have always wanted to start a family and you were blessed with your angel a few months ago. You were both equally excited about the new edition to your family and made sure to do thorough research about how to ensure that she's safe and healthy.

Spencer was also very present these past few months, putting his foot down when he is needed here by you or your daughter. You really appreciated his support throughout your pregnancy but since a few weeks he has been quite busy. You understood that he can't keep putting off work to stay with you, but you also wanted him to do that for you. Maybe it was selfish, but you were also on the verge of giving birth to an entire human and you wanted your husband there to support you.

You thought back to the call with Spencer last night as you had your breakfast and wondered when you'll get another update from him. You eventually realized that you're focusing on him too much and he must just be really busy saving lives, so you ended up watching some movie on the TV.

Ring. Ring.

You were jolted awake from your morning nap by your phone's ringtone. You immediately hoped that it was Spencer calling to tell you that he's home bound.

"Hello"

"Hey, baby! How are both of my girls doing?" Spencer sounded tired.

"We're doing good, would do better if you're here with us though." You pouted.

"I know, love. I'm already on the jet, and wanted to check on both of you before we started. Will be there by evening." He sighed into the phone and you can feel him physically relax his shoulders. The case must have been a tough one, well tougher than usual anyway.

"Oh that's great news. I'll start on dinner soon. Love you baby, say love you to papa syd." You tried to make Spencer feel a bit less stressed and you honestly felt really glad that he'll be home soon.

"I love you both, stay safe until i get home." Spencer parroted back, and you can hear the caution in his voice.

You suddenly remembered that you forgot to inform about your doctor's call last night.

"Uh Spence, Dr. Min just called me yesterday. She wanted to see us tomorrow, I told her that I'll let her know if we can after I spoke to you today."

"What did she want to talk about? Is everything alright? Are you okay? Is Sydney okay?" He immediately questioned with worry.

"Yes, yes, we are completely alright. And Dr.Min did not tell me what it was about as she had some emergency and ended the call urgently. But I'm sure it's nothing serious." You said with a doubtful tone, you didn't want him to overthink it during the whole ride.

"It's okay, baby. I'll call Dr.Min, and ask her what it's about. Just take care." Spencer tried to reassure you and ended the call as the pilot was ready for take off.

You ended up taking another nap while snacking on some fruit platter as you were still full from your breakfast when you were once again woken up by a knock this time.

You checked who it was through the peephole first, Spencer instilled this cautiousness in you. It was just some delivery guy, maybe it was the new blanket you ordered three days ago for Sydney.

You excitedly open the door and were about to take your order when the delivery guy is pushed aside and you are being dragged out of your house by two really burly men. You wanted to scream, but they had their guns pointed straight at your belly. You gulped and cooperated with them.

"What do you guys want?" You tried not to sound so scared.

"Your husband knows what we want. Don't worry you'll get out of this unscathed if he listens to our demands." One of them replied and pushed you into a black jeep.

After that your memory goes pretty hazy, as you assume that they drugged you. You regain consciousness after a while, you don't know how long it's been but it was darker outside. You can see that through the only basement window in the room that you were held in. Yep, that's definitely a basement that you were in. You weren't scared as you had complete trust in your husband and his colleagues. You trusted them to save you and your baby.

You then heard some voices from outside the door. You remembered one of the voices was the man who brought you here. Just as you were about to concentrate on what they were talking about, the door to the room opened. In walked the two men who kidnapped you.

"Dr. Reid, as promised. Your wife is here, unscathed. Just get us that plane, our money, and Jason. We'll be out of your hair." He screamed into the phone, you assume Spencer is on the other side of.

"No I'm not going to do anything until you let me talk to her." Spencer tried to sound as neutral as he can, but even you can sense the fear in his voice.

"Alright, suit yourself." The kidnapper placed the phone near your ear. "Speak."

"Hello, Spence?"

You could hear the relief in his voice when he asks you to stay strong like you always do and that he'll be there to get you soon.

"Everything will be alright, baby. I'll be there."

And you believed him. Because why wouldn't you. You believed him with your whole being. You believed him. You made that choice. You let him deceive you. You let him deceive not just you, but also your daughter.

Spencer wasn't there. He wasn't there to save you. He wasn't there to save Sydney. He wasn't there when they cut you. When they left bleeding to your death. When they left Sydney to die with her mom. You still don't have complete memory of what happened after the call.

BAU unlike every other time, failed to deliver on their promise and failed to save you or Sydney. The kidnappers tried to get what they wanted by harming you, thinking that'll motivate the BAU to submit to their demands. But this time, the kidnappers were wrong.

Spencer found you that night, almost at the verge of dying. His heart stopped at the sight of you. Multiple cuts on your arms and your collarbone. One large gash on both of your wrists, blood flowing out uncontrollably. If only they were a bit faster, if only Hotch would have agreed to their demands. He knew that he couldn't blame anyone else but himself for what happened that night. He stayed by your side at the hospital until you regained your consciousness.

"Spence, What happened? Where am I? Where's Sydney?" Your frantic voice woke him up from his seat beside your bed. He looked like he'd been through some kind of apocalypse, maybe he was. His hair unwashed and disheveled. His beard, unshaven. His eyes, sunken, surrounded by pigmentation. He looked like he was crying non-stop.

Your thoughts immediately went back to that night.

"Sydney. Where's Sydney, Spencer?" You asked cautiously.

He looked like he was on the verge of tears and held your hands. His lips opened and closed, and tears started streaming down his cheeks.

"No, no, no. It can't be. No, not her. Spence." You were beyond frantic now. The tears came first.

You didn't want to believe that she was no more. Your love, your angel, your baby. Your Sydney.

You sobbed and sobbed and hiccups echoing off the hospital walls. Throughout it all Spencer held you, letting you express your grief. He had his time, although he thought no time could heal this wound. He wanted so badly to redo everything.

The BAU had all visited you and him, offering their condolences. Hotch showed up too, expressing his regret and guilt. Spencer assured him that he doesn't hold anything against him. You didn't reply to anyone. Not him, not his mom, not your parents, nor your friends. You didn't have anything else to say. You didn't know what one says when they feel like their soul has been snatched away. Their voice had been hijacked. Only thing you can know and feel for sure was the ache in your heart and the emptiness in your womb.

Days passed away before you knew it and it was finally time to go home. Spencer packed everything up from your hospital room and called out to you.

"(Y/N), It's time to go home baby." He whispered slowly placing his hand on your shoulder.

You looked away from the windows and towards him. Yes, nobody is at fault except Spencer. It was him who promised to keep you and your baby safe. But he was nowhere to be found on the day you actually needed him. He was the one who caused all of this. Your brain, filled with grief couldn't decipher what it was thinking or where your thoughts are taking you. You knew only one thing for sure, you wanted to hurt someone. You wanted him to hurt.

"Spencer you killed her. You killed my baby." Your voice was barely a whisper, you almost thought he didn't hear you. But the way his eyes dulled and filled with guilt showed you that he did hear it.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby." He said, he sounded wracked with guilt. He started sobbing.

That was the first time in a few days you felt some kind of sick relief. A part of you ached at seeing him like that. But the sick satisfaction over took every other feeling.

"Spencer, I'm going to hurt you until I can find peace. I promise, and I don't break them like you do." Your voice was filled with vitriol. Spencer never even imagined that you could look at him with such hatred in your eyes, but he was proved wrong today.

He knew he was going to be blamed for everything. And he blamed himself too. He was okay with taking everything from you, because he knew behind all that hatred and vitriol, there was love. So he was willing to be your punching bag for however long you want him to be.

You realized that Spencer was going to accept it. And you knew you were just getting started. Maybe this will end up hurting you both, but you felt like that's what the two of you deserved in the end. For failing to save her. Your Sydney.

_______________________________________

a/n: Not that satisfied with how this turned out, wanted to write fluff but it turned out into angst 😭😭. anyways i'm thinking of writing a fluff series next and maybe an angst one too. deleted one on my old blog, want to restart it.

[amaya-143]

Ive always kinda said that I'm a lot like mirabelle, and i am we act a lot alike, but I also feel i understand Siffrin in a way that goes beyond a reader perspective. I think part of the reason i not only relate, but love and understand Siffrin as a character is the way he processes trauma and his feelings around what hurts them. I'm obviously not a psychiatrist, nor am i waving my hand and saying 'Hey hey this fella has THIS i am DIAGNOSING' I'm more just kind of ranting about a character stuck in my brain a lot (along with Basil from omori, i could write about them forever). However i am throwing around a few terms just because that is MY own take on him. consider this a little disclaimer

Obviously, post canon is post canon for a reason WE KNOW NOTHING OFFICIAL ABOUT IT but. I feel as though i can imagine Post Canon Siffrin struggling with PTSD. And i know that's a term that kinda gets thrown around when a character goes through something traumatic, but i mean genuine Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Not every major trauma causes it, but i strongly see Sif developing it post loops. Especially in one aspect. I know a lot of Post Canon Fics, especially Siffrin centric ones, tackle the idea of them having flashbacks or confusion, believing they're back in the loops and reciting the usual script again, and to me that makes sense. i agree. But something i think about a lot is Sif's take on his trauma.

There is no typical reaction or response to your trauma, and there is no set way to describe it, but i believe Siffrin to refer to his life surrounding his trauma as 'Before the loops' and 'After the loops'. This isn't a typical time travel game. LIFE DOESN'T JUST MOVE ON. Frin has experienced a trauma so catastrophic he now refers to things happening before or after the event. THE event. We can already see this happening ingame, when Siffrin Questions if he acted certain ways before the loops, When Mira asks him if they remember last week, the question about them enjoying the journey, Siffrin's inner dialouge says *You don't.*

Which, yeah, they've been in the loops for A WHILE. it makes sense they don't remember, I'm completely acknowledging that, but i think this could also be taken in a, the loops are siffrins whole life, way. its not just a 'wow time has passed and nobody else knows hahahha' moment its also a 'i have forgotten this thing because this event that is currently happening to me is taking up all my thoughts and energy'

Which thats all pretty obvious, right? My point of that is to say that i don't think that would just END after the loops. I don't think Siffrin would recover well at all. I think they'd have Ptsd for even years to come. Their life has literally been altered, yet again. You don't move on from that easy.

i was going to go all in depth about the way they respond to the idea of the loops and also how the north island trauma feeds into the fear of being forgotten but GOD knows ive been writing long enough

[homestuckreplay]

Seeking Friends (MUST be named John)

(page 1129-1136)

tiny jade tiny jade we got tiny jade!!!! look at them both <3

Unfortunately this is now a Grandpa Harley hate blog. That ridiculous amount of force used to kill a butterfly. (a transgender butterfly at that!!) The unnecessary show of power and dominance. And for what? To show a small child that destruction of life is his idea of fun? No wonder Jade has such a refusal to hurt animals – I feel like she’s associated with life and growth while Grandpa is associated with death and destruction. Like on the one hand, having to handle her grandpa’s death at a young age and being the only one around to clean up and stuff the body must have been incredibly traumatic for Jade, and being alone ever since can’t have helped. But I don’t think she’d be doing much better if he’d lived! This is not a tragic situation where Jade almost had a good guardian! In fact, Jade regularly acting like her grandpa is still alive could come from him being SO omnipresent and overbearing while she was alive that she never really spent any time without him, until he was entirely gone.

Although I’d say Bec is already acting like Jade’s actual guardian, as he’s clearly the one taking care of her while Grandpa is destroying the beautiful landscape with his inappropriately large firearms.

We still have all scenes occurring on a beta kid birthday, but there’s no year on this one. What does Grandpa Harley think is the right age to introduce Jade to the thrill of the hunt? Probably way too young, but Jade can already read well as she has no trouble with John’s note, so I’m gonna say this is her 6th birthday. December 1, 2001.

Unfortunately you cannot open it yet! This package has an important journey to make first. You are planning on delivering it momentarily. Good thing you already know what's inside. Otherwise you would surely be consumed by curiosity and suspense. You sincerely pity anyone who might be forced to endure such a fate. (p.998)

The reveal of Jade’s package is really cute. I think the above quote is intentionally hinting that Jade knows what’s in the package through the power of Prophecy and Visions, but it’s actually the more mundane (kind of?) reason – she already opened the gift years ago! And inside we get the fabled ‘dear jade,’ page, completing the set, plus a note that contains SO much beta kid lore that I’m so excited about.

Jade wears blue and takes up gardening because she receives this package, creating a stable time loop around these interests. This Blue Slime Ghost shirt could be the first shirt used to make the wardrobifier, as young Jade is wearing a plain shirt.

We don’t know when Jade started seeing dream visions, but from her reaction to John’s letter, there’s no indication that she thinks about things in the weird past/future, seeing herself as an agent of the timeline way that she thinks in 2009. I would bet that this is the beginning of her relationship with predestination. I also think this might have caused her to wake up on Prospit, as she’s been contacted directly by the future, and this makes her more open to temporal communication

John thought he was going to be so late with Jade’s present when he remembered how far away she lives, but he actually got it there incredibly early, so huge W for John. (and an even bigger W for the heroic mail carrier PM). Jade’s response was ‘john thats ok really! im sure will get to me exactly when it needs to and it will be a nice surprise when it does!’ and she was right. The gift was definitely a nice surprise, as tiny Jade had no clue it was coming, and if it prompted Jade’s interest in gardening and potentially her visions – a key source of guidance for her especially after she loses her grandpa – then it did happen at exactly the right time. I like the idea that all of Jade’s weirdness was prompted by the seemingly most normal character.

John has NO supernatural awareness in this letter, and is totally stumped as to why Jade’s pumpkins are disappearing – but he’s listened to her when she’s talked about her gardening woes, and his ‘i'm sure you know the fun is in growing them and taking care of them until they're ready’ is a good read; it feels like something Jade herself would say. And John gives Jade a shirt that not only matches his, but is ‘way more awesome’, so he’s really putting her first. There is something about John’s gift to Jade that feels somehow lesser than his honestly inspired gifts to Rose or Dave – it ended up being really impactful, but wouldn’t have been if she had received it in 2008, where it would’ve just related to her existing interests. But I understand that, because sometimes when someone is THAT important to you, it’s impossible to represent that with a physical gift.

John also went to a store, and to the post office! I feel very vindicated because I find the idea that John does leave the house and interact with other people but still feels alone, alienated and ‘homestuck’ way more compelling than the idea that he’s literally never left the house and yard or spoken to anyone outside his family. Similarly, he signs all the notes to his friends with ‘(john)’, so he wasn’t literally named on his 13th birthday - ‘it is only today he will be given a name’ is more a statement about independence and coming into his own. I like this official confirmation that some of the video game aspects aren’t meant to be taken literally, and I think it opens up more angles for interpretation in future.

Finally, we learn that John met Rose and Dave through Jade! So either Jade was the common link that met all three of them individually, and then brought the group together, or John and Jade were friends and Rose and Dave were friends, and Jade united the pairs. I think the first is more likely, as having received this letter, Jade will be on the lookout for friends named John, Rose and Dave, and may get hints to her meeting them when she starts seeing visions on Prospit. As usual (but also for the first time), she will have a head start while everyone else is oblivious.

As if the Package storyline wrapping up wasn’t proof enough, the adventure map shows that we really are at the end of act 3. I cannot wait to see how the act ends and where the story will go in act 4.

> Jade: Tie giant shirt around yourself like a wizard’s cape.

[kbookblurbs]

Wind and Truth - Brandon Sanderson (Stormlight Archive #5)

4/5 - midseason-finale ass book; he needs to scrap this editor; this book simply never ends

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW!! LIKE FIRST LINE!!!

We finally come to the end of the first arc of the Stormlight Archives and they are going to need a new name. Before we dive in, I want to clarify that I did enjoy this book! I think it tackled a series of very hard-to-conclude plotlines in a relatively good way, and I think it sets Sanderson up for success in the latter half of this series. With that said, I'll be splitting this review into four parts:

Kaladin, Szeth, & therapy speak

The Spiritual Realm plot

Azir

Book mechanics

Kaladin, Szeth, & Therapy Speak

Now first of all, anyone who's read anything I've written knows I love Kaladin - he's one of my favorite characters of all time and his journey through depression is one of my favorite parts of this series. That said. I find the whole timeline of this healing to be highly suspect, and his attempts at therapizing embarrassing at best and deeply annoying at worst. What context is there for him to go from literally attempting suicide in the last book to semi-competent therapist in no time at all? Need I remind Sanderson myself that there is no time skip between the end of RoW and WaT?

The language is also just bafflingly modern in a way that nothing in this series has been before, but we'll get to more on that later.

The flip side of this criticism is that Szeth's plotline was easily my favorite of the book. His completed arc might rise to rivaling Kaladin's (thus far) in terms of how much I enjoyed it. His backstory is so tragic (slay for the almost successful military coup though?) and I truly believed he wasn't going to make it through the book until the very last page. His moments with his father, in the past and present, brought me to tears more than once.

The Spiritual Realm Plot

This whole plotline took too long and frankly, it was boring. Watching Shallan slay her demons for the umpteenth time and deal with Formless again and kill her mother again was, and this may be controversial, not a very interesting plot point to me. She's done all this before. I feel that this book, as a whole, gave diminishing returns on her pagetime to character development ratio. I also don't feel that Shallan, with all her everything else, needed a Herald as a mother as another twist, but maybe that will be more relevant in the future. For that reason, and that reason only, I'll bite my tongue on criticizing it unnecessarily

While it was nice to see Renarin and Rlain get together, I have to admit that Renarin's POV didn't add much for me. I think Sanderson could have written the entire plotline for these two from Rlain's perspective and it would've been far more interesting since he is, in my opinion, the more interesting character between the two of them. Renarin's POV does not reveal anything that isn't already clear from other POVs.

I also just wanted more of Ba-Ado-Mishram. She was haunting the story but not present. I understand that's likely for later plot reasons, but it did make this section drag. Dalinar contributed to that but  we don't have time to get into that right now. I was happy he died though (long overdue, in my opinion).

Azir

Adolin #1 character of all time? The only one to save their assigned city and did it with 0 Radiants and the power of friendships? Nobody is doing it like him.

I loved the founding of the Unoathed and, particularly, Yanagawn's development. I'm really hoping that Yanagawn becomes a more important character in next major arc, since he was so sweet here.

I did not love that we spent probably 25% of the book in Azir fighting battles. Contrary to the opinion of Sanderson many fantasy authors, there is an upper limit on how many battles you can include before I get tired of reading them. There's only so many ways you can swing a sword or block a pike etc etc before I'm bored.

Book Mechanics

Overall, I find this concluding book to be much weaker than the other 4 in the series. Whereas it had seemed that the pacing was improving in Oathbreaker and Rhythm of War, here we were back to all over the place. While I liked that he split the plot into each day leading up to the contest, the timeline genuinely made no sense.

Beyond that, this entire book was filled with oddly YA-style prose that has never appeared in the Stormlight Archive until now. I think whoever edited this book must be different from the other four because, in my opinion, it was much too modern, not as tight, and frankly, not as good. And I know this might be controversial, but I did not think Maya calling Adolin a slut was funny. Why would she even use that word? Whore or prostitute would've been acceptable because they've been referenced here before but I found that example and others like it to be jarring.

Conclusion

I liked this book, but it's by a longshot my least favorite in the series. It was too long and frankly, some of the characters didn't even sound like themselves. I know that Sanderson can do better than this, but it leaves me a little wary for the next arc.

There's lots here I didn't cover (Jasnah my beloved, Sigzil! I'm in mourning) but this was already quite long. DMs / ask box are always open if you'd like to chat more.

[ofseptarsis]

The pause is brief, but within it Tófi can almost see a lifetime flow through it: the idea they've presented is a seedling and Menodora's mind is, as it has always been, black earth -it takes hold of what has been planted there and nourishes until it blooms into forbidden fruit.

They can see a smidge of reluctance at first, as if her mind was fighting back the intrusion, followed by a moment of silent acceptance.

After all, wouldn't it be terribly silly to think that, after all this years of knowing the other, one of them had genuinely willfully ignored that the other was perfectly capable of doing such a thing as feeling?

Mjaumen's ability to try and find ways to separate themselves from Monsters is, if anything, amusing.

De-humanizing your foe had never been so literal.

It's almost funny.

There might be something rational to it, there might be an interesting argument to be had about their brains being so intrinsically different that the range of feelings from one may completely differ from the other's -that their lizard brain, for one evolutionary reason or another, simply leaned more towards the pragmatic than the emotional, for the latter was rarely a useful tool survival-wise.

But...

Something flashes on her eyes and, for a moment, Tófi wonders what she'll say next. But nothing really comes.

Amusingly, they find themselves more amused than hurt offended; This is merely an unfortunate consequence of actions, of decisions, taken a long time ago -maybe by a Perhonen wanting to steady her people's resolve as they marched to battle, maybe by Seth himself wanting to make the enemy think of his people as totally invulnerable.

Maybe both scenarios are true.

Old beliefs die hard, and if Menodora, even after all that happened had genuinely not questioned them, then-

"Hvad kan du overhovedet elske, Tófi?" she asks with a smile, as if her humour has suddenly returned.

Tófi vaguely remembers a morbid phrase they'd heard at one point or another, something about raising crows and said crows eventually gouging one's eyes out.

Diamonds has always been a cheeky one.

"Power, money, respect... the works" they say, their lies adorned with a smile.

Thought of crows gouging one's eyes out, of frogs and scorpions, of Humans and Monsters haunt Tófi's mind, ironically making their mood somber up as Menodora's seem to improve.

It's probably because they are being uncharacteristically open, giving her something to ponder about while exposing a part of themselves that does not do them any favours, probably because the relative well-being of one requires the other being uncomfortable one way or the other.

For one to win, the other has to lose.

For Moon's smile to return if only for a brief moment, Tófi must admit to things that have been unspoken -it's a bizarre price to pay.

She then asks about what their relationship would be, if things were slightly different, if only things were easier.

It's a simple answer.

"If things were any different it would not be quite us"

This time, in an interesting deconstruction of their usual roles, Menodora is the one who has the answers yet refuses to voice them straight away in favour of letting the other try and figure out things themselves; She knows what things could be like, for she has seen, lived them through the very same dreams that torment her.

Maybe that is part of the problem.

"The most important journey right now is, indeed, the one to bed" they reply, trying to keep a deadpan expression even if Moon's playfulness makes it quite difficult "and once there I may just sit by the side of the bed and make you fall asleep while I wax poetic about whatever philosophical topic may come to mind, if you really want me to guide you through that too, Diamonds"

The remaining journey to the main bedroom is short, and yet they find themselves looking at her, making sure she is able to make it even if it means having to power through.

Her energy has always come in bursts, or so Tófi thinks: sure, she might have been able to run across the fields for hours on end, once upon a time, but more recent memories of her really using her energy make them think more of explosions than steady flows.

That dark spell had been a sudden burst of energy, the incident some minutes ago had been a burst of both energy and emotion.

They can only hope there is still something left after that.

"Are you sure you can make it, Moon?"

@menodoramoon

genfødte sandheder || Tófi & Moon

[mpregtales]

Wesley

28 years old, 6 months pregnant, from Austin, expecting a baby boy

When Wesley first considered becoming a surrogate, he was hesitant. The idea of carrying a child, even for a close friend, felt overwhelming. Could his body handle the changes? How would it affect his life? But after long conversations with his boyfriend and the couple he would be helping, Wesley realized the incredible gift he could give. Despite his initial fears, he decided to take the leap, and now, six months into his pregnancy, he knows he made the right choice.

Carrying a child has been a transformative experience, both emotionally and physically. Wesley’s growing belly has become a firm, round curve of life, but it’s his dramatically fuller hips and plump, bouncy cheeks that have surprised him the most. They have outpaced his belly growth for this stage of pregnancy, but then again everyone's body is different and Wesley trust his knows what it is doing. Regardless, his new curves have added unexpected complications to daily life—getting dressed is now a challenge as his paternity clothes barely stretch to fit his ever-expanding body. But Wesley’s boyfriend finds these changes utterly irresistible, and their intimacy has only deepened—a lot. Wesley knows his boyfriend appreciates every inch of his growing figure, and the experience has sparked dreams of having a child of their own someday.

Even though this pregnancy isn’t for him, Wesley feels a deep sense of pride and connection to the baby. He loves cradling his belly, feeling the baby kick, and imagining the day he’ll bring new life into the world. He’s looking forward to the next three months of growth, embracing every stretch and curve his body will take on. And though he knows labor won’t be easy, he feels ready to take on the challenge, picturing himself giving birth this baby and completing the incredible journey he’s embarked on.

From the Paternity Studios Collection.